Happy Birthday America!!
   We had a wonderful 4th of July celebration with everyone but my dad being up at the lake.  It was so good to see Katy home again, and playing on the jet skis, water skiing, and just enjoying her nieces, brother and sister.  Travis had broken his hand right before they got here, so he was somewhat limited to what he could do, but we all got to know him a little better.  Roxi was sick much of the time, and got some rest. She and Jason tried to celebrate their 12th anniversary, but there was a 3 hour wait where they wanted to go, so just shared a quick meal somewhere else. Mel had to work, so Rob stayed till Friday after playing a round of golf. 
   The girls loved the golf cart parade our association had, and the sparklers were a big hit.  This year Evy got to go on the boat for the first time to see the fireworks. However, our poor dogs were terrified buy all the loud noises. Both Jager and Maddie were trembling, panting, and hiding. It was so sad. They wouldn't even go outside they were so scared. Jager was hiding behind the toilet in the basement. :-(  
    During our celebration, there was a military coop in Egypt.  People there decided they did not want to live under the Muslim Brotherhood rulers anymore.  Made me appreciate the freedoms we so take for granted here in the US. I am so terrified that our country as it was founded, representing liberty for the world is slipping away.  So many people won't or don't realize the harm that is being done by Obama and his socialists friends in power.  I pray that Anni and Evy will still be celebrating the 4th of July with their children!

   

  

Hawks WON!!!
    The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup again this week. The entire playoffs were crazy, with a  comeback being down 3 games against Detroit, then defeating the best goalie and the LA Kings. But the series with Boston was brutal, exciting, and extremely stressful. The first game we won after 3 overtimes!!!  The final game was played in Boston, and they were winning 2 to 1 about halfway through the third period. They thought they were forcing a game 7 in Chicago, but the Hawks tied it with less than a minute and a few secs. AND THEN 17 SECS LATER SCORED THE WINNING GOAL!!! Never has a team won a Stanley Cup like that. What a thrilling game, and the entire city went nuts with VICTORY!!!  

     Hockey Fever had taken over the city. Even my 91 year old dad stayed up to watch the final game.  He usually goes to bed by 7 pm, but called me at 10:30 all excited about what a sensational game it was.  When I first told him to start watching the Hawks a few months ago, he claimed he couldn't see the puck, and it was too fast, yet boring because it took them so long to score.  But now he is hooked, and it is so cute and fun to share it with him, since I don't get excited over his baseball or golf. 
    We are up at the lake preparing everything for our 4th of July celebration.  Katy and Travis are flying home Tues, and for the first time since Christmas, I'll have everyone home together for a few days.  Roxi is now 6 months pregnant, and starting to feel better.  Travis hasn't met anyone else yet, so it should be fun getting to know him better.  I pray the weather is good for all of us, since it has been raining almost every other day.  Nice and sunny, but not too hot would be wonderful Lord. I'm just looking forward to having all my family at the lake house at one time.  It is the reason we built the house, and now it can become a home filled with family love at last.....
   

I'm Back!!!!!!!

I know, another blog starting out about how busy I've been, and haven't written, but actually my old computer wouldn't let me on my own blog. NOW, I have a new computer, and sooo much to share. Some huge things, like Jason, Anni and Evy were all electrocuted and survived  last year all  covered in Roxi's blog: Roxengstrom.blogspot.com in much more detail and wisdom than I could ever describe it. Ironically, tho, she called me while I was watching the Blackhawks play, and they are in the playoffs again, so I guess I'm just a little over a year late in that story.  They are home, and the girls are sleeping in the next room because they are going to my church's VBS all week, so how great is that?   
    Other big news, is Roxi is having our first grandson. We are all thrilled except that she suffers so with HG, and has been sooo ill. Again, details are on her blog. We all went to Disney World with the girls in January and had a wonderful time. Roxi didn't know she was pregnant yet.
     In Feb, Steve and I went to New Zealand for two weeks! It was wonderful! Will have to add pics later.
     Katy got her own territory in Virginia Beach, and we have been out twice, me three times, to see her. She has a new fella, a Navy deep sea diver named Travis. They are coming home to the lake for July 4th so everyone else can meet him. He seems like a really nice guy. Artistic and sensitive. Not crazy about his tattoos, but he's a sailor, right?
     Rob and Mel are still living together, and real estate in Chicago is slowly starting to pick up. They got a new car and a new place this last year. Would like a wedding and more grandkids, but I'm trying to be patient.
      My Dad is still living with Tanya and Jari, and I see him almost everyday. He loves seeing the girls, and we are going to take him out with Rob tomorrow night. He was getting depressed and drinking too much again, but through the Hospice people they found a volunteer that comes once a week to visit him. He and Mark really hit it off since they were both engineers, and it has been such a blessing for Tanya and me.
    Since it is getting late, and two darling little girls will be calling,"Bibi" first thing tomorrow morning, I better get to sleep. Now that I'm back, I'll try to keep in touch more than once a year......

Hangin' In There

The month is coming to a close with an extra day, but I seem to just be going through the motions of day to day living. Sunday would have been my parents 64 anniversary, so I took Tanya, Kitty, and my Dad to Red Lobster to celebrate. He got all dressed up to go out with his girls! We had a really fun time, and it made the day pass without too much stress for my Dad. He is actually do quite well. I think after living with Mom's constant falling and dementia for over two years, he feels somewhat relieved that he doesn't have to worry about her anymore. He couldn't take care of her anymore, and that lack of control over a situation frustrated him. He also has a new found respect for Tanya which is great. She is pampering him well. Dr. Chang came to check him out last week, and when Tanya described what happened with my Mom, he said he thought she had had a blood clot in her lungs. It was the only answer for him that would take her so quickly. What is strange, is that is the same way Steve's Mother died.
A friend of mine from church, who was dealing with her mother's dementia, lost her mother on Valentine's Day. We hugged on Ash Wednesday, and decided to do lunch around Mother's Day to share our memories. I was lucky tho, that Mom was lucid. Her mother was angry and mean the last months before she passed.
Great Performances last week had the Broadway musical "Memphis" on, and I so wanted to call her to tell her to watch it, because I know she would have loved it. Watching the Academy Awards without her seemed weird too. I think about her fondly, but it is strange that I seem to be doing okay otherwise. I know a lot of people are praying for me, and I feel that support, because I am not wallowing in grief. Maybe it is because we didn't have a service yet. Or, like Dad, I truly feel she is in a better place and didn't enjoy living stuck in bed. I've never lost anyone close before, so I am making my way down this unknown path slowly and carefully. 88 years is a good life. Losing a child would be far harder. I also told Roxi, that in a way, I feel like I had already lost my Mother to the dementia. Once you have to parent your parent, you stop being the child in a way. I'm just moving on, hoping that I don't suddenly fall down the rabbit hole of despair. But right now, I'm hanging in there, so thanks for the prayers, they're working to keep me sane....

Time Flies and I've Lost My Heroine!

Can't believe it's been over a year since I actually have posted anything. It's not like I didn't have anything to post. It was that so much was constantly happening, that I was too tired to put it all into words. As I mentioned before, we kept the last male puppy who we renamed Jager, so three dogs were fun but, time consuming. Holidays came and went, and then suddenly, Roxi, Anni and Evy came home for urgent medical needs for poor little Evy. Jason came later. Thankfully, after too many doctor visits and blood draws to count, it was determined that Evy would be fine, and probably out grow her high fevers and seizures that sent them home to us.

They did stay long enough for Katy to graduate from U of I, and then they went back to Zanzibar, and Katy moved to Atlanta for her new job, with Merial. Our summer was rather lonely, as no one really came up to the lake but us and the three dogs.
The fall brought a different concern. My dear Mother who kept falling was finally forced to move out of Windsor and into a home Robbie found for them, so they could live with a 24 hour caregiver. So, we packed, unpacked, found Tanya and Nejari, to live and care for them. Daddy had a collapsed lung while we were hunting in Michigan, and before we had actually moved them into their new house. All was well for a few weeks after we got him out of the hospital, and Katy came home for Thanksgiving! Then, started a downward spiral of circumstances that I don't even want to recall. Mom fell again, got aspirational pneumonia because her dementia worsened from the fall. This cycle was repeated twice between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Hospital, rehab, hospital, and then the dreaded word-hospice! Don't get me wrong. Hospice workers are the most caring and incredible people I have ever met. It was the only way, Mom was able to come home for Christmas, and after weeks of confusion, she was lucid most of the time. I was no longer her sister, but her daughter again. We spent hours going over the pictures from her life, and sharing stories. Tanya and Nejari would play games with her, and Katy and Robbie had a chance to be present with her too. Thanks to Skype, she was even able to talk with Roxi and the girls. We celebrated New Year's and Daddy's 90th birthday! Even though she was confined to her bed, she was doing much better, and the doctor thought we might be able to take her off hospice.
So in January Steve and I, Robbie and Mel, met up with Katy in Florida for the annual DVM convention in Orlando. It was a time to get away, as well as see Katy at work. We visited with our dear friend, John, and my Mother's real sister(not me), Jerry and her husband, Bill. Two weeks later, Steve and I had his SCI convention in Las Vegas, and again we thought we could go, since Mom was doing so well. However, Daddy had been getting more depressed, and was drinking more, which in turn caused much stress for Mom, Tanya, and me.
So, on Groundhogs Day, a day I never want to repeat, my wonderful, loving, creative, heroine suddenly passed on without me being there. Luckily, I had called her an hour before, and talked with her. She was fine. Then I got an urgent, frantic call from Tanya. She said Mom couldn't breathe even though she had given Mom morphine, the nebulizer and oxygen. Mom told her to call me, and I only had a few minutes to tell her I loved her and then she was gone! It was like a whirling nightmare! Poor Tanya and my Dad were devastated and I was in shock in the middle of a convention hall! How could the woman who gave me life, just be gone without me there to kiss her goodbye?
Today was Super Bowl Sunday for the rest of America, for me, it was the long trip home to reality. I was comforted by many, and distracted by the convention during the day, but at night, the quiet brought tears and such a feeling of aloneness. I know she is in a better place with her Lord. I know she did not want to live in the circumstances she found herself in. She had always been a fighter; a stubborn, German Dutchman! While in the hospital she was pulling out IVs, trying to talk anybody to help her get out of there, and after she was home, she dreamed of throwing her old, worn out legs over the bed so she could get up! I think her heart just gave out trying to fight with her circumstance.
Besides all the wonderful things she did in her life to make me a proud daughter, the one that always made me see her as a heroine was the story of her getting thrown off a public bus in Memphis after the war. She had given her seat to an elderly, black woman during the time of segregation, and both were forced to get off the bus. My Father's Father was a racist. My Mother taught me the sin in that way of thinking. She also taught me that if someone gives you lined paper, to write the other way!
I find it comforting and curious that the woman holding her hand as she entered Heaven was Tanya, a loving and caring black woman who loved my Mother as her own, even though she only knew her a few months. When I first met her in the interview, we both felt God's hand in bringing us together. We called each other "sistas", and strongly felt that we were intermingling our lives because it was God's Will. Her son Nejari, has become apart of my family too. He fills the void I have from not seeing my own grandchildren, yet I can't wait for him to meet them.
God works in strange ways, and we should not question His wisdom in directing the choices we make.
Pastor Patrick from Hospice came immediately to be with Dad and Tanya, and he called me in Vegas to pray with me. He said that often times people can choose when they leave, and they go when they think it will be less stressful on those they love. I don't know if I completely agree with that, but I am grateful I didn't have to witness what poor Tanya did. I can remember the last month of conversations with Mom, not the helplessness of trying to save her, or see her after she was gone.
My Mother was artistic, creative, compassionate, especially towards animals. She loved to read, see plays and movies. The last movie Kitty and I took her to, was "The Help". Ironic, I think. She loved flea markets and antiques! She loved beautiful things of any kind. She loved roses and lavender. She was strongly conservative, and hated what has been happening to our country lately. She was worried about the future of her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Having lived through the depression and four wars, she thought we were on the verge of loosing America, and it scared her. Her friend from Collinsville wrote me to say, "she was a remarkable, loving, and caring person. She shared smiles, and her happy outlook on life made you happy to see her." That was my Mom!
The following are two beautiful emails of comfort sent to me while I was in Vegas:
One Door Closes..Another Opens Revelations 3:8 When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! 'The power of one sentence! God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close...
~DEATH~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT ..
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to
Leave the examination room and said,
'Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side.'
Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know..'
'You don't know? You're, a Christian man,
and don't know what's on the other side?'
The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room
And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
'Did you notice my dog?
He's never been in this room before.
He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death,
But I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough.'
May today there be peace within you..
May you trust God that you are exactly
Where you are meant to be.
I believe that friends are quiet angels
Who lift us to our feet when our wings
Have trouble remembering how to fly.

They both give me such comfort because I know Mom knew her Master was in the next room, and like all the dogs she loved, she was ready to leap into the room and fly with Him where she was free of her bed, and she could soar like the angel she was! She told the pastor weeks ago she was ready to meet God, and to see her Father and her friends that went before her. So I envision her decorating her new location, and preparing it for all of us to follow. I love you Mom, and will miss you so....until we meet each other again in His home for us.....

Here and Gone

The week before Christmas, we found a wonderful home for our Little Big Man pup. A sweet lady from the doggie park had told a relative from MA that we had GSHP pups. After a few phone calls, John decided to make the long drive to get our pup, while doing some work on the way. However, he had no idea when he left, that he would be driving through one of the worse blizzards in Ontario history. After another long drive home, he and Blitz (pup's new name) are doing great! He was an exceptional puppy, and we hated to see him go, but I had the feeling this was a special home for him. John loves to hike 3 to 5 miles a day, and Blitz would run till his little heart gave out. So having a kind of Steinbeck journey(Travels with Charlie), both are doing well.

A hunter had wanted which ever pup was left, but when I called to tell him Ditka was left, he informed me that his wife wouldn't let him get the pup. We just couldn't leave him alone at the hospital, so he came home with us for Christmas. Katy came home too. We all decided that this little guy who had been the first pup to find a home only to be returned, and then had had 3 other people who wanted him, only to be left last, was still here for a reason that only God knew. So we are keeping him. We changed his name to Mr. Jagermiester Shot, to be called Jager. He is very handsome and a real lover. He is much calmer than Madison for the most part. He does have his Jagermonster moments, however. Maddie loves attacking her brother, and Dipity is relieved that Maddie is not attacking her. So now there are three!

Thus began the Christmas that went to the dogs. The weekend before Christmas Rob, Steve and Katy all went pheasant hunting with Dip in Iowa to return with 73 birds! Auntie Data stayed home with me and the kids. I only put up a little Charlie Brown tree, as I knew the pups would eat the big tree. Since Anni and Evy would not be here, this Christmas would be low key for sure. The highlight was after the candle light Christmas Eve service we all SKYPED Roxi and family. Evy, the birthday girl, was asleep, but we did get to open gifts via computer together. It is a wonderful thing, but not the same as being in the same room. I had taped a book for the girls. When Roxi heard my voice and realized what it was, she started crying. Anni was so cute. She told her Mom not to cry. That when they saved enough money they could come visit Chicago. How sweet. It broke my heart to hear Roxi cry though, and I couldn't hug her.

Katy would be leaving the day after Christmas for her marathon bus ride to the Houston Bowl game, and Rob would only be home for dinner, so I would have to settle for one day. We finally got to meet Mel, the girl Rob has been dating, as she was able to come to dinner with him. My parents came with their new Bogie as Santa.
Katy and Santa Bogie

After dinner they all went big game hunting on the new Wii, while I loaded the dishwasher.

Steve finishing the last glass of wine while the creatures weren't stirring. So after a few hectic days of preparations, a few hours of eating, and visiting, we were alone again with our dogs who always love us, and want to be with us as much as they can. So this will be remembered as my dog Christmas. Last year, Princesses and new baby girl, this year, pups! God thank you for healing Evy, finding wonderful homes for my pups, protecting and loving my children wherever they roam, and keeping my parents safe. So to all a goodnight...........

Have Fallen into Winter

I have meant to write so many times this fall, but once again my life was a blur of puppies, football games, holidays, and work. We had a gorgeous warm fall that just seemed to fly by, and are now entrenched in cold and snow. We were either at U of I football games, or at the lake closing the house for the season. It was Katy's last year as an Illinette, so each game was a sad countdown ending with Dad's Day and Senior Day on the same weekend.
Senior girls crying after the Three in One for the last time, but there is a Bowl Game yet.

Dad and Katy after playing drinking games at the apartment. Both were pretty tired and emotionally worn out after their last Dad's Day game and miserable loss.

One weekend we had the AKL reunion and grand re-opening of the new house. John and many of our old college friends were down for the weekend. Good memories were had by all.
Then Homecoming before the last home game. Many fun tail gates with old friends, and a chance to finally meet Rich's parents and extended family. Katy even got her new Yemm car!!!Even though we had many close games that we lost, including one to Michigan in the third overtime, we won our sixth game against Northwestern at Wrigley Field, and thus became bowl eligible. So Katy will be leaving the day after Christmas to get on a bus for 18 hours to Houston for the game on the 29th. We thought about going, but with the economy being so bad, we thought we better just watch it on TV. The basketball team has also started off with only one loss in overtime, so I am still hoping for a Final Four year!
After one of the football games, we rushed back on Sunday to show the pups, and were able to sell the two girls on the same day. Both have great homes, and the families really love them. We saw them two weeks after selling them for their last shots. Sally, now Gracie, lives in WI, and has already been hunting. Serenity, now Rascal, has her own dogie door and fenced in yard and a loving elderly couple who spoil her. Last weekend we also sold Butkus to an old employee and client of ours. They had lost a young GSHP a few weeks before, and Jorie, one of our receptionist brought him out to show Sue. He had almost found a home over Thanksgiving, but the family had two young children, and the wife thought she couldn't handle them and a new puppy. Butkus learned his lesson, and really sold himself by being calmer, and very loving. This time he found a home!

So we only have two boys left. Gary, our trainer, took them out the other day, and said both will be great hunters. I have been taking them with Maddie and Dip to the dog park as often as I can. Speaking of dog park, over a month ago, I was tackled by three huge dogs while I was out there with my pups. I was thrown into the air and landed on my tailbone and head! For the next three to four weeks, walking or climbing stairs especially, was extremely painful. I felt like three offensive linemen had hit me, and I don't understand why people do that for fun. It gave me a whole new understanding of pain watching the football games, I can tell you that.

The most upsetting thing that happened though was that in Africa my sweet little Evy became very ill. First she had a seizure, and finally was treated for typhoid fever! She is now fine, but it was very scary knowing how ill she was, and how far away they are, and how helpless I was. Roxi describes the entire ordeal far better than I could on her blog. All I can say is thank God for being with her, and curing her.

In a few weeks she'll be one year old. She doesn't even know us. Christmas will come and go, and no little voices of glee or excitement in my house. With Maddie, our puppy, I have decided to not even decorate this year, because she'll just eat everything. but deep down, I'm not in the mood to go through all that work for a childless house. Last year it was so much fun decorating the tree with Anni, and watching her tear into her princess presents, that I fear this year will be pretty disappointing. Katy and Rob just want and need money, so the only gifts will be for my folks. I spent a cold night, or I should say morning, on Black Friday to get a new TV/ Wii combo at Best Buy for our gift to each other. So instead of grandchildren this year, I'll have to settle for grand puppies. Thus my little Charlie Brown tree on the table will work out much better. And I will just have to remember that Christ is with those I love so far away.

Besides my puppies, my folks now have a new Bogie pup. We had to put their old Bogie down because he had liver cancer. A very difficult decision for my parents. SO while I was placing ads to sell my pups, I found them a duplicate Bogie, so no one at Winsdor would know that Bogie I was gone. The new puppy is darling, and looks just like the old Bogie, only lighter and full of energy! He and Maddie love chasing each other when ever they can. Thanksgiving was nuts with those two lapping the house repeatedly. A small but thankful Thanksgiving. At least we didn't make a trip to the ER or get robbed like last year!

Well at least that is a brief update on my crazy life. So much excitement in so little time. After Katy graduates this spring, life will be so boring without all the football weekends to look forward to. Maybe I'll go back to doing more theatre things. Oh, by the way, I am teaching drama at the community center. It is sad and rewarding. It has taken some time to get their imaginations going, but I am finally seeing a little success. One little boy hugged me and said how sorry he was when I was gone because of previously mentioned dog wipeout. It warmed my heart. It is nice to be missed.
Katy will be home in a few days, and she, Rob, and Steve will go pheasant hunting with Dip in Iowa, while I puppy sit. Then Christmas, Bowl game, New Year's, Katy and my Dad's birthday, a trip to Florida for the DVM convention, my birthday and Rob's birthday. Looks like life will just keep swirling by unless I have another dog wipeout. Bless all and all of mine. Thank you God for all your gifts and blessings, and for your Son, the REASON for the SEASON despite what the ACLU says. Especially thankful for the election results which hopefully can save this great country from those who are trying to destroy us from within.

A SAD UPDATE

This morning I heard Dip barking, and when I looked outside, Bill, our friend who had bought Ditka was at the door. He was coming back to return little Ditka. He and all his neighbors loved the puppy, but Ditka was just too much for this 66 year old man to take care of by himself. He had purchased all kind of food, treats and toys for Ditka, so I know he was really happy to have a puppy, but after almost a week of a little puppy needing undivided attention, he had grown tired and fearful that he couldn't do what was best for the puppy. He said he didn't want to yell or punish him, or keep him in a crate most of the day. I am very sad for both Bill and Ditka. Men just find it more difficult to be caregivers. For women, a puppy is no big thing, after raising a child! What they don't realize is that they need a strong voice, and a little swat on the butt to grow up and be a well behaved good dog. Poor Ditka had to go into the kennels at work, since he can climb out of the pen, so I'm sure he doesn't understand why he's back in the group of unwanted.
Steve has decided that since he wants to keep the puppies two to a run, I should bring Sally home. We both think she is sweet, and definitely has Dip's personality, so for now at least, we are keeping two girls. We have lowered the price on them, hoping to sell them sooner rather than later. The other sad thing is that many of Steve's GSHP clients that have seen the pups all think they are exceptional, but have just gotten a new pup (reason they are in to see Steve) or they breed themselves. Please, Lord, help these darling bundles of love and sharp little teeth find a good home soon. For now, I am just sad....................

A Big Illini Win, and Ditka finds a Home!

Today was one of those beautiful Indian summer days, with the temp reaching the high seventies. I was hoping two people who had been interested in the pups were going to come over to see them today, but to our surprise an old client and friend found out from his neighbor that we had pups, and came to see them. (The other two people didn't even call to say they weren't coming, #@X%!!!) But Bill came right over, and after carefully studying the pups, decided he wanted Ditka, the largest male, so he has a new wonderful home, and we will see him often. Bill and Ditka going home!

Bill is now retired, and he had been taking care of his sick sister, but she recently passed, and he needed someone to care for, and Ditka will be properly spoiled, as all good dogs deserve. My Mother always said that "If you can't spoil a dog, why have one!"
The owner of the sire of the litter came to see the pups, too, and took all the information to send to his friends, since he thought the pups looked fantastic. His male had just won another Grand Championship this week. I told him the least Bandit could do is find a good home for some of the pups. (Like doggie child support.) The others seem to know Ditka is gone, but they don't know where he went. However, they are all sleeping closer together right now. I hope we find other homes soon, since Serenity has learned how to climb out of the fence! And Sally is now trying to escape too.
The other exciting event that happened today is that for the first time in the history of U of I, they beat Penn State at Penn State, 33 to 13! The really sweet thing was that it was their Homecoming, and they had planned on killing us again! The team is coming together. Our defense is pretty good since we gave Ohio State a scare last weekend, and out new quarterback and our running backs are doing quite well, so the year doesn't look like it will be as bad as we thought it would be. How nice it would be to become bowl eligible Katy's senior year. We thought we would have to wait for basketball season to enjoy some Illini victories. Our b-ball team is suppose to be really good, and with some luck, we were wishing a Final Four appearance would be a nice finish to her Illinette career, but we good definitely take both with the help of God!
Tomorrow we head to the lake to put the boat and jet skis away. Rob is going up with us to help. I can't believe the summer season went by so quickly. I sure hope Anni and Evy will be able to be here next season.
Update on Bogie. He has liver cancer, and this week my parents were afraid they would have to put him down, but Steve gave him some medicine. He won't eat dog food, but he's hanging in there with seemingly no pain, so, so for so good. I started looking on line for a replacement, but they have decide to hold off for now. Mom keeps saying she wants him to lasts as long as she does, which is a little scary. She thinks if he goes, she should, and she has no health problems right now. She loves it when I take Maddie over for a visit. Bogie, not so much.
So this quick update must be interrupted to put the other five pups outside for the last time tonight, so I can get some sleep before tomorrow's big day at the lake.

More Puppies and Final Football Season

Is there anything cuter than an arm full of puppies? Maybe a new baby, but my grand daughters are half way around the world, so I have to settle for these lovable little faces, my grand puppies. They are already bigger than this picture shows, because now they have been weaned, so that means Dipity is done feeding and cleaning up after them, and believe me if someone could invent a puppy diaper that they wouldn't tear up, they would make a fortune!

The puppies have become chow hounds that are pooping machines, and little monsters with very sharp teeth. But they are sooooo sweet when they are asleep. There is definitely truth in the old adage, "Let sleeping dogs lie."

Here they are all crammed into the lid of a box. They love playing in, on, and chewing on boxes. It is like playground equipment for puppies. They also like running, sniffing wild outside.
This is Madison, or Maddie, the little girl that was lucky number seven to be born, and the one that looks the most like her Mother, Dipity, with the white stripe down her nose. We are pretty sure this is the little girl we will keep.
These sad sacks want their freedom to roam free too. Only when you put six puppies down, they go in six different directions. But it is really hard not to give these sad little blue eyes whatever they want.

Besides taking care of, cleaning up after, and playing with puppies, we have started the Illini football season. This is Katy's last year, and as a senior, she is now in the front row. The first game was the Arch Rivalry Game in St. Louis again against Missouri. And they once again, beat us, but it was closer that we thought, since we were ahead the first three quarters. Here is Katy at the game with one proud Dad.

After the game we drove like crazy to get home to pick up Dip and family, and head for the lake house for Labor Day Weekend. Last year Dip was a smashing success at the game shaking her tiger, but this year she had to stay home and feed the puppies, much to her disappointment. She was quite put out that she couldn't stay at the hotel. However, when Katy and Rich joined us at the lake, all was forgiven.

Last week we completely weaned the pups, so Dipity got to go to the first home game against SIU, which Illinois won big! This was the halftime score! ILL-INI! She strutted her jersey and collar to the tailgate, and loved sleeping in the motel bed without six puppies hanging on her. We had the chance to finally meet Rich's parents for the first time in almost a year of Katy and Rich dating. They were very nice, and we look forward to getting to know them better. As I was writing this, Katy called to say her new car just came in, so we will definitely see them again this weekend after the NIU game. Rich's father, ordered her new car.

Other things have happened, but I'd rather remember puppies and football, than the sadness of losing a dear, Aunt, or the worry of a very ill cousin. These and other little problems I will leave in God's hands, because there is nothing I can do but pray for those in need. There is nothing I can do about my parent's dog that is ill, or that my dear grand daughter had a worm! So I will put the dear little puppies that are in my care for a few more weeks to bed, and trust that God will care for the others that are beyond my control. I do love puppy breath when grand daughter kisses are just a memory......

The Big Apple and the Little Pups

We just returned from our annual trip to Broadway Monday afternoon. We saw eight shows and they were all wonderful in different ways. It was one of the best years for musicals and big name stars, that we've seen lately. Before we went, I was worried about leaving Dipity who would be due with her puppies while we were gone, so I hadn't gotten too excited about what we were seeing, but the shows were outstanding. We saw, "The Addams Family", "La Cage", "Memphis", "A Little Night Music", "Come Fly With Me", "Lend Me a Tenor", "Million Dollar Quartet", and "Promises, Promises." Sean Hayes, who is from Glen Ellyn, came out to talk to us, as well as many other stars, including the entire cast of "Lend Me a Tenor". Backstage tours after the show are great.

At home, Dipity went into labor, so during "Million Dollar Quartet" and "Promises, Promises" my phone would vibrate, but I couldn't answer the texts or see the pictures that were being sent to me until intermission or after the shows. Thanks to our wonderful tech Jennifer, and Katy and Kitty who came to hold her paw, Dip had seven healthy pups on Sunday. Three girls and four boys, and we were thrilled and couldn't wait to get home. Monday we flew home, and after the airlines getting us here a half an hour late, we rushed to the hospital to see our momma and her new pups, only to sadly find out that fifteen minutes before we got there, she had accidentally crushed one of the little boys. Dipity was thrilled to see us, and was very proud of her kids, in spite of losing one, which she didn't understand. We got them home safely, and have been on puppy watch non-stop ever since. She has been a very good momma, except she keeps trying to encircle her pups under her to keep them safe, thus why the one was crushed. They are getting bigger everyday, so I hope soon they will be able to fend for themselves once their eyes open. Now they just blindly climb over each other which is pretty funny to watch, but then I might just be slap happy from lack of sleep.Steve and I have been taking turns making sure she doesn't lay on another one. Getting only three hours a sleep a night is taking its tow for sure. They are all growing and today got their little tails cuts and dew claws removed. This was taken before they got their little tails cut.

Aren't they adorable? Tomorrow they make their first trip to the lake where many of the neighbors want to see them. Our friend, John, is coming for the weekend, and Rob and Katy are coming too, so I hope I can get some sleep so we can enjoy the weekend. And it could get cooler, too. 100 degree heat index outside, with a heat lamp on the pups inside is too much heat for me!

Father's Day, the Fourth of July, and America

We have been working all week, and playing on the weekends at the lake. Katy was up three weekends and Rich came up twice. My parents were up for Father's Day, and here is my Dad sporting his new outfit.
My Dad's was doing better, thus his smile. Unfortunately, my cousin's husband died before Father's Day, and our prayers are with her and her daughters. It was much too sudden for them all.

Rich and Katy tried out the new double tube, went jet skiing, and we got Rich skiing really well. They also went to a Dave Mathews concert on July 3rd. They are such a cute and happy couple "in love". I think they are perfect for each other. This weekend was their 9 month anniversary. I can't even remember how many years I've been married, but they are counting months. Hopefully, they will share their love for years too.
We also saw our good friends Mickey and Chris one weekend, and our friends/builders, Audrey and Fred. And on the fourth, Eric, Steve's brother, introduced us to his new girlfriend, Vickie that he has been dating for about a month. Steve's youngest sister, Kathy and her husband came by on their scooters on the fifth. Rob and a crowd of people who work with him at Harry Carey's came up then too, just before we all left to go back to the boring reality of work. Rob and his friends all had to work on the fourth, and were making jokes about the "Uninvited" that end up in a bar on a holiday, because no one invited them to a barbecue or picnic. It is pretty sad when you think about it, but it made for some funny stories. All of these young adults have college degrees, but can't find jobs in their area of study. So much for "hope and change".

Our little neighborhood always has its own golf cart Fourth of July parade. I so wish Anni and Evy could have been apart of it. Little kids get all dressed up, and throw candy to the onlookers. So sweet and patriotic. I could really go on a rant about how scared I am that soon our great country will no longer be free. I think that our president, who grew up in Indonesia, has never felt how exceptional our country is because he never had the feeling of pride celebrating our country's birth as a child. Instead, he was raised by Marxist parents, and searched out Marxist professors while in college, all according to his own writings. Thus, he and his radical left progressives are trying to destroy the greatest country that has ever existed.

Our history has not been taught as it occurred, but has been changed to blame America for the world's ills. I'm not saying we have been perfect, but we have grown and changed because of the liberty that was given us in our Constitution. I just finished reading "The Help", which is a book about the black maids that raised the white rich children in Mississippi. It is an eye opening book, that shows how those who were courageous stood for liberty, and changed what was wrong in the South. And at the same time this would have been going on, Sen. Bryd, the oldest serving senator was filibustering the civil rights bills that the Republicans were trying to pass in the sixties. Yet when this pass KKK leader died this week, both President Clinton and Obama praised this man???? Blacks today vote Democratic over 90% of the time. Why? King was a Republican. As a teenager, I listened to his "I have a dream" speech, and have always tried to judge people by the content of their character, yet the two New Black Panther members who were terrorizing voters last election, were just let go of all charges. And one of them is on tape saying he "hates all white people, and all the crackers should be killed".

Besides what is purposefully being done to destroy the economy in this country, our freedoms are under attack. I only pray that people are waking up, and that this will not be the last Fourth of July little children celebrate the freedoms their country has given them. Unless something is done to turn this around soon, these little children will be slaves to the debt that this generation is creating for unions and entitlement programs, all for the sake of power, not liberty! I guess I ranted anyway, but I can't help it that I feel we are living in a very scary time. Before the election, I felt like we were living through the rise of Hitler all over again, and people were just not paying attention to what was really being said. I think many are waking up, but I just hope it is not too late. Pretty soon, more than half of all Americans and illegal aliens will not be paying any taxes, while those who make the economy work will be paying for everything. They will settle for an entitlement instead of freedom. "1984" and "Animal Farm"should be taught in every English class, but it is not. "Atlas Shrugged" again.

Glen Beck has written a new fictional novel called, "The Overton Window", which he actually calls a factional novel, since there are many real facts in it. It is not the best written book, but it does detail what has been happening to our country. The Overton window is an advertising term that explains how propaganda is used to sway public opinion on certain things. You won't accept things on either side of the window, but you can be nudged one way or another until you accept something you never would have before, as the window moves to "their" end. It is very interesting to see how the window has certainly moved by the media and politicians in my lifetime! He has special "Founders Fridays" to teach the truth about this country's founders as described in their own words. He does this all in an attempt to change the window back were it should be, smaller government and more freedom! And where Sen Byrd was a racist KKK leader, not a great supporter of freedom in the Senate! My how history is constantly being rewritten by those in power, and we will be reliving history if we have not learned the lessons from our past.

I just hope I can leave my children and grandchildren the great country that my parents left me. A country where we accept the help of other countries on day three to clean up an oil disaster, instead of pandering to unions and letting the oil ruin our economy and environment so we can pass an outrageous tax and trade bill! A country where our immigration laws are upheld, not sued. Where all of our Supreme Court justices uphold the Second Amendment, and not a country where four of them think we can't have guns to protect us from their tyranny. (Our next justice doesn't even think it is her job to protect the Declaration of Independence! Are you kidding me????)

Enough, I have said my piece. I enjoyed my holidays with friends, missed family members who could not be there, and lose much sleep that our country is slipping away, but I pray every night because I do trust in God! And I do think this country was formed by religious men who felt that God had helped them win their liberty to show the rest of the world His power and grace. If we can keep God in our country, He will not forsake us. If we can't pray in our schools, or post the Ten Commandments in our courts, how do we expect God to hear us when we have shut Him out. I say lets start inviting Him back, and fast! And Mr. President, we are a Christan nation as formed. We tolerate others' religious rights, but don't deny ours! God bless us who still love you...

,

Blessings

Once again I have been constantly reminded how blessed I am. Why did this become so evident? Here are a few things that have made me aware of God's goodness in my life in comparison to some of my dear friends and relatives.

1. Last weekend two of my dear friends and I went to see "Over the River and Through the Woods", a wonderful play that I directed a few years back for WDI. Both of these women helped me. One was my Production Manager, the other my star. We went to dinner before the play. My star has had a terrible two years. Her wonderful husband fell the same month my Mother did when she still lived in Collinsville. My Mother had a concussion, but was fine. She truly is a hard headed German, since she has fallen and hit her head many times since then. But my star's husband hit his head once, and has never been the same. He has had to live in a convalescent home ever since. She goes to feed him every day, even though he can't really understand time, or follow a conversation. He has fallen and broke his hip since he has been there, too. Her final speech in the play about taking care of her husband took an entirely different meaning since the time we had done the show. I don't know if I would have the strength to be the woman she is. My other friend, had lost her husband many years ago to cancer. I am so lucky.

2. Just last week, my office manager and I were discussing how much we have to do to deal with our parents. About two days later, her Father died suddenly. I couldn't go to the funeral because my Father called and thought he was passing a kidney stone. I couldn't get him in to see the doctor before the weekend, so he said he would just try to pass it. On Monday, he called me to take him to the ER. While we were there, another woman my age was in the room next to us with her Father who was having great trouble breathing, and he had pnemonia. After four hours of tests, my Father had a simple UTI, and with antibiotics would be fine. So now we are looking forward to taking him to the lake for Father's Day on Sunday. What will these other women be doing?

3. When I was growing up, one set of my cousins were favored by my Grandmother. Their Father was her favorite son. They lived in Texas and for awhile in England, which makes for a very strange accent! The few times they visited Grandma, she lavished her love on them, and the cousins who lived here always felt slighted. Now with the wisdom of age, I realize it was because she never saw them, and there was no Internet to connect with them. Anyway, my girl cousin that was my age, was my arch rival as a child, but now we have become email buddies, and have even met up in New York and Chicago for some great visits. I really love her now, ironically. And now, I pray for her. Over the years, she has lost both of her parents to cancer, and now her brave husband has been battling bladder cancer for a couple of years. He is a neurosurgeon himself, and has saved many people, I'm sure, but just this week, we found out that modern medicine can't save him. The cancer has moved to his liver, and the doctors told her point blank, that there is nothing they can do but put him into hospice! Today I received an email from her saying he is no longer receiving guests. Steve and I had a similar scare when he was first diagnosed with MS. They told us they weren't sure if it was ALS or MS. One is certain death, and the other was manageable. Again, I was blessed to have the husband that was saved. She has a few hours or days left with her husband.

4. Whenever I turn on the news, we see the suffering of the people who live in the Gulf that have lost their livelihoods, or the people whose homes have been flooded from all the storms. I have two beautiful homes. Our only problem this week is some water in the basement and a family of raccoons in the attic that had to be caught. The other home is perfect.

5. I have three wonderful children that I often worry about, but they are all healthy and alive. Many of my friends have already lost a child.

I know there are many other things I should be down on my knees in gratitude for, but these are the blessings that have become very obvious to me in the last two weeks. And besides the personal blessings, we are all thrilled that the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup after 49 years! (Some comic relief). In reality, I feel like the lyrics of the "Sound of Music" song again. "I must have done something right"....., but I don't know what. However, I am very grateful that God has chosen me for some reason to be so blessed......thank you, Lord!

Sisters

This past weekend my Aunt Jerry flew up from Florida to visit my Mother, her sister. We all went up to the lake house for a nice family bonding weekend. My Mother had been looking forward to seeing her little sis for months. I'm sure they both realize that Mom can't make it to Florida again, as we had some difficulty just getting her up to the lake. There is about 14 years difference in their ages, I believe. Rob, Katy and Rich all came up to spend the weekend too, which made it a really special visit. We played pool on the new table, we played the name game, a family favorite invented by Jason, and ate great food.

I am an only child, and always thought I would love to have a sister. I know when you are younger, jealousy occurs between siblings, but as you reach adulthood, the closeness of having a sister is a bond I will never have, even though I have had some great friends I wish were my sisters. Roxi and Katy have that special bond, and even Anni and Evy will have shared memories of a life in Africa together, that others can never completely understand. My Mom and Aunt Jerry have a bond of a long life in St. Louis before they each moved to new cities far away from each other.

My Aunt Jerry is one of the greatest people I know. She is witty, beautiful, kind, and just plain fun to be with. Even at my wedding, Steve's groomsmen wanted to pickup my aunt in her long, sexy purple dress. I do see her every January when we go to Florida for a DVM convention, and about every other year, she has joined us in NYC for our Broadway trip. My Mother use to be able to go to NYC, too, but no more. Thus, I was thrilled when Aunt Jerry said she would come visit us, and I was grateful that we could entertain her and my Mom at the lake. I don't know if this will be their last visit together, I certainly hope not. Hopefully they can both come to a future wedding for Rob or Katy, or come see Roxi return from Africa. But for now, we made some great memories for two great sisters.

We also celebrated Rich fantastic score of 34 on his test for medical school. Now he just has to hope the health care bill gets repealed so he doesn't have to work for the government.

We had Data for two weeks so she could get groomed, and Dip was thrilled that Rob came to take her home again. They are step-sisters in the dog world, but there is no love shared between them. In fact, they have a hate relationship! And they proceeded to fight when Steve yelled after the overtime score of the Blackhawk game Friday night. Of course on Sunday, the Blackhawks won again, thus for the first time since the 1960's have a chance to win the Stanley Cup this next week.

I just want to thank everyone who took the time to come for the sister reunion. Wonderful memories were made by all. We even tried to skype with Roxi again, so she and Katy could visit too. They could see us, but we could only hear them which again was disappointing, yet amazing that we could even hear them half a world away. Sure wish I had a sister though, so if someone wants to be my sister, let me know.

Some Random Thoughts on Moms and Mother's Day

Here is a picture of the gifts I received from two of my children for Mother's Day. The purple flowers were from Katy, and the bamboo plant from Rob! I also got to skype with Roxi and Anni on Mother's Day. After Katy's flowers came, Steve and I drove up to the lake house after picking up Rob from the train in Harvard. On Saturday we had had lunch at Macaroni Grill with my Mother and Dad , to celebrate her birthday and Mother's Day combined. I am so lucky to have my Mother still alive, and to have three loving, bright, healthy children. A mom's dream come true is to have her children make her proud everyday, and mine do just that! As I have said before, I often feel like my children are teaching me, rather than the other way around.

Although I'm sure we only have a Mother's day to make the card companies and florists rich, it is nice that for a day, we can relay to the most important person in our life what we feel all year long. At least that is the Hallmark idea, right? After all, your mother gave birth to you after hours of labor, went through nine months of getting fat for you, and then proceeded never to let you forget it!

Motherhood has so many myths surrounding it, doesn't it? When you first find out you are pregnant you are either thrilled beyond belief or scared out of your mind. It all depends on if you wanted to be a mother, or if you are ready to be a mother. Women are all ages and are all in different stages of their lives when they get the news that they will be a MOTHER! The miracle, the blessing of a child is God's greatest gift. To have a little piece of immortality growing inside of you is so awesome and terrifying at the same time. The sudden weight of the responsibility of not only giving birth to a healthy baby, but then to raise it to adulthood without harm or damage. After all, if the child grows up to have any problems, the first thing the shrink will ask is,"what kind of Mother did you have?" We can't win, it is always our fault, right? A Mother's guilt is our own destructive tool. We either feel guilty, or we try to make our offspring feel guilty. Maybe it is the curse of Eve.

And with all this responsibility, there comes no direction manual, no guidance, no real relief. For at least the next 18 years, the child is stuck with you wandering around trying not to make the same mistakes you thought your mother made raising you. I guess that is why most of us somehow grow up just fine. Blind luck. Each generation tries to be better than the last, yet those old tapes play in our heads, and at some point or another, we hear our mother's words that we promised we'd never say to our children, coming right out of our own mouths!

The fantasy of motherhood and the reality collide at different times for each of us, but they do collide! We all grow into being the best mom we can differently. The bond between a child and their mother should be a sacred, loving bond, that is sometimes challenged, but because of the unconditional love we have for our own child, it can never be broken.

That has been my experience with my Mother and with being a mother. However, everyday we see the emptiness when one part of the bond doesn't hold up their end. Poverty, drugs, even death separate mothers and children all the time. Even wealth can be as destructive as poverty. People sending their children off to camps and boarding schools for someone else to nurture their own. Katy witnessed this a few years back when she went to the Sail Caribbean camp with wealthy kids from the Hamptons. One poor boy was not allowed to go home when the ship docked, because without consulting him, his parents had signed him up for another three weeks. I can't even imagine that loneliness that child must have felt. And as a mom, I couldn't wait to pick Katy up from the airport because I had missed her so, and it was the first time she had been away from home for three weeks.

For me, one of the greatest thrills about being a mom is watching how each little child develops into its own person with dreams and goals you couldn't even imagine for him or her.

And the next most amazing thing, is to watch your child become a mother in her own right, to watch the next generation become an amazing child of God. I hope I can live long enough to see great-grandchildren, like my parents have seen, but I got started so late in life with the whole motherhood thing, I don't know if I can hang around long enough to realize that dream without being a burden on my children. Time will tell, I guess. I know my parents are so proud to see my children and the next generation achieve things they never even imagined.

Yes, Motherhood is a wonderful miracle, a God given gift, despite the pain and tears that sometimes come with it. Even though there are mistakes, misunderstandings, fears, and confusion on both sides of motherhood. There is also unconditional love, forgiveness, laughter, and comfort whether we are the mother's arms, or if we are in a mother's arms. For this I am doubly grateful, and I feel sorry for those who either have lost a child or a mom on Mother's Day. Mother's Day for me is not a day to recieve gifts but to truly count all my blessings! (But cards and flowers are also appreciated.)

Catching Up and Going Forward

Spring was here, as Katy and Dad look great for Easter service.
Seems like I've been busy since I last wrote, but I haven't really accomplished much of worth. We had a nice Easter with my folks and Katy and Rob. The usual leg of lamb, but no egg hunt, since our egg hunter is back in Africa.

On the political front, my great friend, Charmaine and I went to two, count them, two TEA PARTIES. Yes, we are those far right racists radicals that the real radicals in the White House are constantly complaining about. First we met the Tea Party Express buses (3), led by the Freedom Riders (very loud motorcycles), in Rockford, Illinois. It was a long drive, but well worth it. We came loaded down with our signs and lawn chairs, and met some great other Americans who fear that our country is loosing its way from what our founding Fathers had intended. They had many great speakers and singers that travelled on the bus. There were three African Americans, who said they just wanted to be considered Americans. They had a Hispanic hip hopper who was great! So, so much for it being only old white rednecks, as MSNBC would have you believe. The Chicago Tribune had a picture of three nuns there, clapping and singing to a black preacher who spoke from Palatine.
On April 15th, the actual tax day, Charmaine and I were joined with Steve and my friend Kitty, as we all went to a Tea Party in Naperville. We had really wanted to go to the one in Chicago, but since Charmaine , Steve and I all had to go to the theatre that night, we thought the long trip by train might wear us out.
Again, we saw great signs and met other concerned people, and we all got a great tan in the sun! An aside, we saw "Ragtime" that night at Drury Lane and it was almost as good as the production we had seen in NYC a few years back. It was thought provoking after being at the rally that day. An interesting look to see how far we've come since the turn of the other(1900) century.
The next day, Friday, I left with another U of I Mom, for Mom's Day weekend with our best girls! It was such a fun and relaxing weekend. Friday, Katy took Rich and I out for dinner, and then she and I went shopping. Saturday we attended the craft show, saw the U of I's production of "Guys and Dolls", went to Dos with 20 others, and then had a great party at the girls' apartment. However, the best part was just lying in bed till 4 am talking with Katy about her life and dreams. What a great bonding moment. The fact that two firetrucks were outside the apartment flashing their lights, did help us stay up after all the margaritas. Another great talk Sunday, more grocery shopping, and then sadly we had to leave so the girls could study for the busy week ahead. Katy had 3 tests to study for, and I felt guilty that I kept her up, but I will cherish that talk for a long time, so I hope she got sleep after I left.
So that is a brief summary of some of the things I've been doing besides working, taking Dipity to the doggie park, visiting my folks, and doing errands.

Dip loves swimming and retrieving. She'd do it all day if you let her!

As I had written before I knew Roxi was coming home to have Evy last fall, I was feeling like time was slipping away, and I wasn't really doing anything productive with my life. Then they came home, and we were all busy with the excitement of Evy's birth, and the care of my Mom who had fallen. Well, now they are back in Africa, and besides mailing two boxes off, I'm not much needed there. My Mom is mobile again, so she too, doesn't need me as much as before. So I have been praying that God would show me a way to be of service to Him. Well, tonight, I think I might have understood the purpose He has for me. A very nice lady, Vicky, from my church, invited me to a fundraiser banquet for the Outreach Community Center in Carol Stream. Now, when she first called, I just thought,"Hummmm, a nice dinner out with a friend." Vicky and I grew close when we did Alpha years ago, because she has had MS for many years, and when she found out that my husband did too, we would join the same discussion groups. We talk at Sunday services, but that is usually the only time our paths cross, so when she called, I thought it would be nice to go. I had heard of the center, but really didn't know anything about it.
As the various speakers spoke about the children and senior citizens they service there, I kept thinking what could I do to help besides write a check tonight, and then walk away. The children's choir performed for us, and the keynote speaker was Dr. Tony Campolo. As he spoke, and told his story of faith intertwined with jokes, I kept thinking.......I could help start some kind of drama class. Creative dramatics or pantomime for the little kids, speech for their college bound kids, even eventually plays that the senior citizens could help make costumes or sets for, etc. My mind was racing. Then I thought, I could even give tours at the animal hospital, or bring animals for the people to pet and care for. Now I know I can't do all of these things at one time, but I do have gifts that I can offer them.
When everything was over, I asked Vicky what she thought, and she was thrilled. Then as I was about to leave the building I ran into the newly hired director of the entire center. Without a hesitation, I introduced myself, and told him I had experience in many of the things that were rushing through my head, and that if he was interested, maybe, slowly at first, I could introduce something to do with drama or animals, whatever he wanted or thought they needed. He was very receptive, and said he would have someone, I forgot her name, call me soon. So, I think for now, I've found the answer to my prayers. I may regret it later, but right now, I felt moved by God to make this jump. This entire outreach program is based on Christ helping us help others. I feel like Christ just hit me over the head and said,"Duh, what have you been waiting for?" I know that whenever I have worked with my drama activities, I have felt rewarded by the people I have worked with, more than I have felt used. The creative juices keep my brain sparking, and the energy I get is refreshing. So many days lately, I just seem to be walking through the motions of life, without any purpose, feeling like I'm not accomplishing anything. Right now I feel empowered to do something worthwhile, and I like that feeling. I must proceed with caution, so I don't burn myself out. After all, I'm 61, not 21 like I was when I first started teaching theatre and speech. So now I wait to see where the path He has shown me leads me. Wish me luck!

My little boy.

Anyone who knows my son Rob, would know that "little" is a strange way to describe my 6'7" son of 27! But no matter how old your kids become, they are always that darling little baby to you. And Rob was definitely a little blond cutie. We use to call him Tweety Bird because his hair was so white. He is my only son, and as all boys are, a different species than his sisters. Roxi always wanted the center of my attention, as I think most first born do. Rob was more laid back. He would sit and play for hours by himself taking things apart and putting things back together. As he grew, he became very athletic, and excelled in football and basketball. He was my "golden boy". He had lots of friends, some of which he followed into trouble. From his college days on, Rob has seemed to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some problems he brought on himself by partying too hardy, but other times it just seemed like a dark cloud was hanging over him.
Such was the case last night. Today I got a call from him to tell me that he was once again the victim of the dark cloud. He is a real estate agent in Chicago, and because the economy is so bad right now, he has to sublimate his income by working other odd jobs. Last night he was working security at Harry Carry's in Wigleyville, and after work was coming home on his bike. Thank God he was wearing his helmet. Some idiot guy jumped right in front of him in the bike path to hail a cab. With cars next to him, Rob had no where to go, and went flying over the handlebars into the street! Now since he works for himself, he has no insurance, and the health care they passed does not help him, but will only fine him. He landed on his face, and chipped a tooth, broke his nose again,
and hurt his left elbow again. All of the previous injuries were from other black cloud incidents.
Whenever I get these kind of calls, my heart sinks to my stomach as I listen to what has happened, fearing the worse. Now I know, as bad as these various calls have been, they could be so much worse. How parents ever go on living after receiving calls that their child is missing or dead, I do not know. And I pray to God, I never experience it. But nevertheless, when I hear that my little boy has been hurt, I go into Mama Bear role. My son is a great, kind, loving, honest man who has been there for me when no one else was. I want to always be there for him too. The irony, is that when one daughter and her family leave for Africa, and the other was in Florida for spring break, a parent worries for their safety, but Rob was here, working, and supposedly safe.
The most frustrating thing about being a parent is raising your children to be strong and independent, and then when they grow up and are exactly what you wanted them to be, you have no control over them, and you can't protect them, or hold them to keep them safe anymore. Tonight the Discovery Channel ran two more in their series of eleven shows on LIFE. Each show shows how different species raise their young and survive. Some just lay eggs and leave their young to fend for themselves, while others carefully protect their young with their own lives. Watching the shows, I couldn't help think about why one of my children seems to always have unlucky things happen to him, while my girls have been luckier in life. (Not that I want their luck to change! ) Does a person make their own luck? Is there really something about destiny? I tend to think, God is trying to tell Rob to depend on Him. I just pray God will take my little boy into his arms and protect him and help him to find his way and purpose. All I know is that I will never stop loving or caring for any of my children. They are my life, and when they hurt, I hurt, and I just want to hold them and protect them from the mean, cruel, cold world that is out there. So dark cloud, go blow over someone else! Robbie is a great guy that needs a little sunshine in his life again! And I could do without all the stress.