Sisters

This past weekend my Aunt Jerry flew up from Florida to visit my Mother, her sister. We all went up to the lake house for a nice family bonding weekend. My Mother had been looking forward to seeing her little sis for months. I'm sure they both realize that Mom can't make it to Florida again, as we had some difficulty just getting her up to the lake. There is about 14 years difference in their ages, I believe. Rob, Katy and Rich all came up to spend the weekend too, which made it a really special visit. We played pool on the new table, we played the name game, a family favorite invented by Jason, and ate great food.

I am an only child, and always thought I would love to have a sister. I know when you are younger, jealousy occurs between siblings, but as you reach adulthood, the closeness of having a sister is a bond I will never have, even though I have had some great friends I wish were my sisters. Roxi and Katy have that special bond, and even Anni and Evy will have shared memories of a life in Africa together, that others can never completely understand. My Mom and Aunt Jerry have a bond of a long life in St. Louis before they each moved to new cities far away from each other.

My Aunt Jerry is one of the greatest people I know. She is witty, beautiful, kind, and just plain fun to be with. Even at my wedding, Steve's groomsmen wanted to pickup my aunt in her long, sexy purple dress. I do see her every January when we go to Florida for a DVM convention, and about every other year, she has joined us in NYC for our Broadway trip. My Mother use to be able to go to NYC, too, but no more. Thus, I was thrilled when Aunt Jerry said she would come visit us, and I was grateful that we could entertain her and my Mom at the lake. I don't know if this will be their last visit together, I certainly hope not. Hopefully they can both come to a future wedding for Rob or Katy, or come see Roxi return from Africa. But for now, we made some great memories for two great sisters.

We also celebrated Rich fantastic score of 34 on his test for medical school. Now he just has to hope the health care bill gets repealed so he doesn't have to work for the government.

We had Data for two weeks so she could get groomed, and Dip was thrilled that Rob came to take her home again. They are step-sisters in the dog world, but there is no love shared between them. In fact, they have a hate relationship! And they proceeded to fight when Steve yelled after the overtime score of the Blackhawk game Friday night. Of course on Sunday, the Blackhawks won again, thus for the first time since the 1960's have a chance to win the Stanley Cup this next week.

I just want to thank everyone who took the time to come for the sister reunion. Wonderful memories were made by all. We even tried to skype with Roxi again, so she and Katy could visit too. They could see us, but we could only hear them which again was disappointing, yet amazing that we could even hear them half a world away. Sure wish I had a sister though, so if someone wants to be my sister, let me know.

Some Random Thoughts on Moms and Mother's Day

Here is a picture of the gifts I received from two of my children for Mother's Day. The purple flowers were from Katy, and the bamboo plant from Rob! I also got to skype with Roxi and Anni on Mother's Day. After Katy's flowers came, Steve and I drove up to the lake house after picking up Rob from the train in Harvard. On Saturday we had had lunch at Macaroni Grill with my Mother and Dad , to celebrate her birthday and Mother's Day combined. I am so lucky to have my Mother still alive, and to have three loving, bright, healthy children. A mom's dream come true is to have her children make her proud everyday, and mine do just that! As I have said before, I often feel like my children are teaching me, rather than the other way around.

Although I'm sure we only have a Mother's day to make the card companies and florists rich, it is nice that for a day, we can relay to the most important person in our life what we feel all year long. At least that is the Hallmark idea, right? After all, your mother gave birth to you after hours of labor, went through nine months of getting fat for you, and then proceeded never to let you forget it!

Motherhood has so many myths surrounding it, doesn't it? When you first find out you are pregnant you are either thrilled beyond belief or scared out of your mind. It all depends on if you wanted to be a mother, or if you are ready to be a mother. Women are all ages and are all in different stages of their lives when they get the news that they will be a MOTHER! The miracle, the blessing of a child is God's greatest gift. To have a little piece of immortality growing inside of you is so awesome and terrifying at the same time. The sudden weight of the responsibility of not only giving birth to a healthy baby, but then to raise it to adulthood without harm or damage. After all, if the child grows up to have any problems, the first thing the shrink will ask is,"what kind of Mother did you have?" We can't win, it is always our fault, right? A Mother's guilt is our own destructive tool. We either feel guilty, or we try to make our offspring feel guilty. Maybe it is the curse of Eve.

And with all this responsibility, there comes no direction manual, no guidance, no real relief. For at least the next 18 years, the child is stuck with you wandering around trying not to make the same mistakes you thought your mother made raising you. I guess that is why most of us somehow grow up just fine. Blind luck. Each generation tries to be better than the last, yet those old tapes play in our heads, and at some point or another, we hear our mother's words that we promised we'd never say to our children, coming right out of our own mouths!

The fantasy of motherhood and the reality collide at different times for each of us, but they do collide! We all grow into being the best mom we can differently. The bond between a child and their mother should be a sacred, loving bond, that is sometimes challenged, but because of the unconditional love we have for our own child, it can never be broken.

That has been my experience with my Mother and with being a mother. However, everyday we see the emptiness when one part of the bond doesn't hold up their end. Poverty, drugs, even death separate mothers and children all the time. Even wealth can be as destructive as poverty. People sending their children off to camps and boarding schools for someone else to nurture their own. Katy witnessed this a few years back when she went to the Sail Caribbean camp with wealthy kids from the Hamptons. One poor boy was not allowed to go home when the ship docked, because without consulting him, his parents had signed him up for another three weeks. I can't even imagine that loneliness that child must have felt. And as a mom, I couldn't wait to pick Katy up from the airport because I had missed her so, and it was the first time she had been away from home for three weeks.

For me, one of the greatest thrills about being a mom is watching how each little child develops into its own person with dreams and goals you couldn't even imagine for him or her.

And the next most amazing thing, is to watch your child become a mother in her own right, to watch the next generation become an amazing child of God. I hope I can live long enough to see great-grandchildren, like my parents have seen, but I got started so late in life with the whole motherhood thing, I don't know if I can hang around long enough to realize that dream without being a burden on my children. Time will tell, I guess. I know my parents are so proud to see my children and the next generation achieve things they never even imagined.

Yes, Motherhood is a wonderful miracle, a God given gift, despite the pain and tears that sometimes come with it. Even though there are mistakes, misunderstandings, fears, and confusion on both sides of motherhood. There is also unconditional love, forgiveness, laughter, and comfort whether we are the mother's arms, or if we are in a mother's arms. For this I am doubly grateful, and I feel sorry for those who either have lost a child or a mom on Mother's Day. Mother's Day for me is not a day to recieve gifts but to truly count all my blessings! (But cards and flowers are also appreciated.)