My little boy.

Anyone who knows my son Rob, would know that "little" is a strange way to describe my 6'7" son of 27! But no matter how old your kids become, they are always that darling little baby to you. And Rob was definitely a little blond cutie. We use to call him Tweety Bird because his hair was so white. He is my only son, and as all boys are, a different species than his sisters. Roxi always wanted the center of my attention, as I think most first born do. Rob was more laid back. He would sit and play for hours by himself taking things apart and putting things back together. As he grew, he became very athletic, and excelled in football and basketball. He was my "golden boy". He had lots of friends, some of which he followed into trouble. From his college days on, Rob has seemed to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some problems he brought on himself by partying too hardy, but other times it just seemed like a dark cloud was hanging over him.
Such was the case last night. Today I got a call from him to tell me that he was once again the victim of the dark cloud. He is a real estate agent in Chicago, and because the economy is so bad right now, he has to sublimate his income by working other odd jobs. Last night he was working security at Harry Carry's in Wigleyville, and after work was coming home on his bike. Thank God he was wearing his helmet. Some idiot guy jumped right in front of him in the bike path to hail a cab. With cars next to him, Rob had no where to go, and went flying over the handlebars into the street! Now since he works for himself, he has no insurance, and the health care they passed does not help him, but will only fine him. He landed on his face, and chipped a tooth, broke his nose again,
and hurt his left elbow again. All of the previous injuries were from other black cloud incidents.
Whenever I get these kind of calls, my heart sinks to my stomach as I listen to what has happened, fearing the worse. Now I know, as bad as these various calls have been, they could be so much worse. How parents ever go on living after receiving calls that their child is missing or dead, I do not know. And I pray to God, I never experience it. But nevertheless, when I hear that my little boy has been hurt, I go into Mama Bear role. My son is a great, kind, loving, honest man who has been there for me when no one else was. I want to always be there for him too. The irony, is that when one daughter and her family leave for Africa, and the other was in Florida for spring break, a parent worries for their safety, but Rob was here, working, and supposedly safe.
The most frustrating thing about being a parent is raising your children to be strong and independent, and then when they grow up and are exactly what you wanted them to be, you have no control over them, and you can't protect them, or hold them to keep them safe anymore. Tonight the Discovery Channel ran two more in their series of eleven shows on LIFE. Each show shows how different species raise their young and survive. Some just lay eggs and leave their young to fend for themselves, while others carefully protect their young with their own lives. Watching the shows, I couldn't help think about why one of my children seems to always have unlucky things happen to him, while my girls have been luckier in life. (Not that I want their luck to change! ) Does a person make their own luck? Is there really something about destiny? I tend to think, God is trying to tell Rob to depend on Him. I just pray God will take my little boy into his arms and protect him and help him to find his way and purpose. All I know is that I will never stop loving or caring for any of my children. They are my life, and when they hurt, I hurt, and I just want to hold them and protect them from the mean, cruel, cold world that is out there. So dark cloud, go blow over someone else! Robbie is a great guy that needs a little sunshine in his life again! And I could do without all the stress.

The Night America Died!

I know I have tried to deal mainly with my family and personal problems on this blog, but tonight I am so discouraged by what our country is becoming, and how it will effect my family, I am truly looking to God for answers. Everything that has made our country the greatest bastion of liberty for the rest of the world is daily being destroyed. Out forefathers never intended for the government to take over every aspect of our daily lives by giving entitlements to those who refuse to make the most of the freedoms our Constitution has given them. We are going trillions of dollars into debt, and my children and poor grandchildren will never have the same chance of a decent life that we have had. Our Congress has refused to listen to the majority of people who did not want this massive intrusion into our health care. Nor did they listen when we didn't want them to take over the banks, education, the auto industry, the real estate loans, etc. We got change alright! We will soon be the USSA instead of the USA.
Tonight America will change forever, and they will NOT stop here. By their own words, they want more control, complete control over our lives by controlling our health care. I am very sad tonight. I am very scared for those children who follow. I feel badly for those who are searching for freedom and liberty in other countries, because America is no longer the shining city on the hill that would give them hope. No more greatest to aspire to, just mediocre socialism that has not worked anywhere else. All those scary sci-fi movies are becoming our reality. I want to cry for the dream that America was for my grand parents who left Germany as children to come here and make their way. They fought against their homeland to keep the dream of America safe.
Now we have allowed her to be destroyed from within by rewarding those who didn't want to make America better and stronger, but who wanted something for nothing. By playing by the rules, working hard, I have become the "enemy of the state." America is no longer a melting pot of greatness, but a "politically correct"multicultural quilt. A quilt that allows one group to lust after what another group has worked for, instead of all working together to make the entire pot better for everyone.
I am afraid that too many of our people have left God. Our country was created by men who believed in God, and who knew our liberties were God given. But our secular society that allows for abortion, pornography, drugs, and Christian-bashing, has probably led God to ignore us as so many of us have ignored Him. My prayer is that this change will wake up those who want to take our country back to the glory in which it was created. I know America has made mistakes before, but the people have tried to correct those errors and made her better. We need real leaders that believe in God to lead her once again to be the hope and example of what people can be when they are free. We need God to save us if we can prove ourselves worthy again. As I cry tonight, I will pray for a rebirth of our liberty and God's grace to forgive our evil ways. God bless America, because is she goes, I don't know where to go.

Last Days

Well they have arrived safely back in Africa, and for that I am grateful. As I try to deal with the loss of not seeing them for maybe two years, I have to hold on to the wonderful memories I have of the last few months with them living here with us. Actually, I was able to enjoy them more in a few months, than maybe years of them living here in the states. Many times you only see your loved ones on holidays, because you take the time for granted, but when everyday counts, you spend much more time really getting to know your grandchildren. Thus I wanted to share some of the great pictures that I took of our time together. Here is Anni in some of her borrowed dress-up outfits that use to belong to Auntie Katy. This pink one even got packed at the last minute at the airport after final weighing of luggage. Anni wearing my glasses. Whenever she wanted me to read to her, I had to find my glasses, so I guess she thought she'd see why I needed them so...
Poor little Evy crying her eyes out, but we were just laughing because there was nothing wrong with her. It also reminds me of a picture I have of her Mama doing the same thing. I'm a drama teacher, and the drama and emotional tirades must be genetic, because it sure runs in our family!

Here, Anni is introducing Evy to Bibi's Monkey Room at the lake house. Her first ride on the pony. We designed this room for all future grandchildren, but Anni considers it hers! We marked her height on the chart, and she had grown over an inch while here this visit. Poor Evy didn't even make the bottom of the chart, but at least we have this picture to show her that she was here too.
This with Dipity's stand-in, and the girls in Bibi's bed at the lake house again.
Auntie Katy and Anni dancing to"There's no mountain high enough..." Notice yet another Princess dress!
Saying goodbye to Great Bibi and Babu! We had an early Easter like dinner with the whole family the last weekend.
Evy looks so small in my Dad's arms. She won over his heart at first glance.

Uncle Rob with his big sis and the girls!
Anni showing one of Bibi's new purchases for her to Babu. This little dress came with a scarf that looks very much like what they wear in her African home. How could I pass it up for my little sweetie!
At least I have these and many more memories to warm my heart while they are gone. I was able to bond with Anni more than ever before. She took many copies of movies we watched and shared back with her, and I can hope she'll remember watching them with her Bibi.

The Silence is Deafening

We have safely delivered our precious cargo to British Airlines, and have returned to an empty house, except for Dipity who had found Anni's little white Easter bunny by the front door. You see, after stuffing 10 crates and suitcases, plus carry-ons, the bunny had to stay. Dip was at the door with the bunny in her mouth as if to say, "she left this....can I have it?" As I walk through the house, I see the little things that have become commonplace, like tiny hair bands, fruit snacks, kid's books, etc. I can still hear Anni's sweet voice saying, "Bibi". How I will miss that sound......
Thanks to some old Lexapro that I still had, and started taking a week ago after crying all the way home from Lincolnshire after seeing "Fiddler of the Roof", I managed to drive to the airport and back with limited tears. Last Sunday was the day they had done their presentation at their church in the city. I saw the excitement and love of what they were doing in their eyes, and was so proud of my daughter and her family. I also knew, that there was nothing I could ever do or say to discourage them from their mission. They are doing God's work, and I'm only a Bibi . It was an emotional day, and after hearing Tevya tell his daughter,"God go with you." I lost it. Thus, I dug out the old drugs to get me through this week. I just wish they would help me get through the next two years!
I want to share some of the final pictures before I try to get some sleep. Last night Anni woke up crying, and ended up sleeping with me. Tonight will be very lonely indeed.
Anni's last bubble bath before leaving for the airport!


Last lunch out at Domo. Anni was intrigued watching our chef, and Evy was just hanging out!


Catching a few winks on the way to the airport!
Checking in with ALL THAT LUGGAGE!

Anni and her baby that would not fit in the luggage saying goodbye to Babu!

Our last view of our world travellers as they went through security and were gone.Steve and I were both tearing up, as was Roxi. Anni could hardly wait to get to the plane so she could eat her treats, and watch her movies, and read her books that were all packed in her very own roll on. Roxi laughed as Jason said, "last time we wheeled her, now she is wheeling her own loot." Evy will be wheeling her own when they come back too. Oh, how I love you all. God go with you, and return soon, because already you are sorely missed. My echoing footsteps in this big empty house are too much to take for long.

Some lasting memories

Well today is the day! In a few hours we take them to the airport, and have to say our goodbyes for now. We have been doing so much the last few days, that I don't have time to list them all now, but a few things I want to remember are:
Took Anni swimming yesterday, and when I accidentally hit her with the little ball we were playing catch with, and she started to tear up, I immediately told her how sorry I was I hurt her, and she said, "That's okay, Bibi, I forgive you." How sweet! She also told me it was okay to enjoy the bubbles of the hot tub while they made her sit on the side with a warm towel around her. Every hour tehy make the kids get out of the pool, and she wanted to hot tub.
When hearing her friend had just been to Disney World, she wanted to go too, and Roxi told her she didn't have the money, maybe when they come back. Anni said "How about Papa?" but Roxi said he didn't have enough either, then Anni sat silently for a minute and then came up with, "Bibi has a lot of money!" Maybe because I indulge her every whim, but I'm broke now, but will save for her and Evy's return so we can go to Disney World!
She was also concerned that Africa has no McDonald's Playplaces, or Targets to buy her Princess regalia. These her Mama and she will both miss.
We had many fun times at the lake house this past week, and I will post more later.
She danced with Auntie Katy this weekend, and found a new princess outfit that had belonged to Katy.
We all had dinner together Saturday, so Rob and Katy and my folks could say goodbye. Poor Katy had to drive back to Champaign crying most of the way and then had to take a test the next morning. Saying goodbye is not easy for any of us.
Yesterday we made one last stop at Great Bibi and Babu house to say a final goodbye, and I caught this great moment on video of my Dad reading a book to Anni. He didn't realize it was a song, thus it even makes it more precious. Also, note Anni picking her nose in the beginning. This will go down in the record books for "special times."

Say a prayer for us all. That they and all they great "stuff" gets there safely, and that we can endure their absence for this time.