Two weeks and counting!

Yes, in just two weeks my wandering daughter and her family return home, if not for good, at least for now. And I have to be happy with the present, and the future of seeing my new little grand daughter born here in the US. There are so many things we want to cram into this time, but I have to share them with all the other people who love and support them too.
So while I am planning for their homecoming, I am also busy with Katy, Rob, and my folks. Friday we went to watch the Buffalo Grove high school game where the Marching Illini performed in the rain. Then Saturday, we went to watch them again at Navy Pier. Rob and Annie, and Ashley, Katy's close friend, all went to see them with us. Then after a nice lunch with Annie's family, we headed home for Katy to get some warmth and sleep. Later that night Ashley and Katy and I had a girl's movie night watching "To Foo Wong Foo". Sunday we celebrated our church's 50th Anniversary. Then we madly cleaned out bags of stuff from our past, to make room for the future. Dinner with Mom and Dad, Rob, and Katy to celebrate the selling of their house. Whew! What a crazy weekend, but it went on ....
Monday I dropped Katy off in Aurora for her four hour driving course, then drove to the doctor's office to make an appointment for Roxi. Called Roxi. Went to work, then picked up Katy to drive her to U of I in time for her Illinette practice, and then home again for me. Exhausted, yes.
This morning I went with Daddy to get his driver's license renewed. I must warn all people to beware of senior citizen drivers. My Dad could not read 3 of the numbers on the vision test, and the instructor told him more than once to make a complete stop. Yet he was given his license again, which will make my life easier, but I wonder how many others are driving out there who can't see well?
We then went to our money manager to open an annuity with some of his house money. We had a nice lunch together when we were all finished. It was very special to have time with him alone, and when he hadn't been drinking yet. Then back to work for me.
Rob is coming home tomorrow to see the chiropractor, and help me get the house ready for the homecoming. I'm not sure when he is moving back yet.
So now as I wait to put the laundry in the dryer, I sitting here wondering how much more can I cram into my days. Looking back on the last weekend, and looking forward to another weekend at U of I with a Chief event, a game, an AKL Gamma tailgate and then dinner, I wonder why I am so confused about how my life seems to be constantly whirling by faster than I can take it all in. I have next week to continue to clean, get new carpeting, buy favorite foods, and then go to U of I's Homecoming weekend. And then, my count down will be 2 days, not 2 weeks. I can't even imagine how much Roxi and Jason are cramming into their two weeks preparing to come home. When she emailed this morning she was planning Anni's neighborhood birthday party now that Ramadan is over.
It is funny how we view time isn't it? Yesterday on the phone Anni said,"Bibi, me coming to Chicago in two weeks!" Then Roxi added that every day she wants to know if that is the day they are leaving. As a child, time seems to move as slow as snails. Waiting for Christmas, or to grow up, as an example. I remember teaching "Romeo and Juliet" and discussing how fast time moves when you are in love, even though it seems slow waiting to see the person you love again. But the older you get, you really understand the preciousness of time when it seems to fleet by. We can only hope we can cram as much as we can into everyday God gives us with the ones we love. So I am off to put that laundry in, and to bed, so I can get more preparations done tomorrow waiting for my family to come home again!

Oh what a day!

We went up to the lake house for the last weekend of the summer. After the rather cool summer, we finally had a beautiful weekend. The best part, was when I got awaken this morning with a text. I thought it was from Katy, who usually texts me, and since I didn't have on my glasses, I called her and woke her too. Then I put on my glasses, and realized the text was from Roxanne. She wanted me to call her, which I then did immediately. The big news was that they had decided to come home to the US to have the baby afterall! In fact, they will be coming in three weeks! Anni got on to say, "Bibi, me coming to Chicago!" No other news could sound so sweet. When Roxi explained Halloween to her, as a day she could wear her princess dress and go door to door and people would giver her candy, she started screaming with glee. It was so cute, and last about 2 minutes. We all have lots of work to do. We need to find clothes for Roxi and Anni since all they have are summer clothes now. I have to get the house ready for them to move home, and they have to finish as much of the school work before they leave. Most importantly, we have to find a doctor who can handle her special problems, and any that might arise with the baby. Pray for us all, and for their safe journey home to those who love them so. They will have to go back next spring, but for now, and for the holidays, they will be home at last!
Then, just to add the topper on the day, the Bears beat the Steelers! That really helped Steve get over the fall into the lake he had while trying to launch the boat. The only downer is that they will be here and gone again, before we can put the boat back in, but right now, all I care about is that in three weeks my girls will be HOME!!!!

Pity Parties are ugly

Some days a person should just stay in bed, pull the covers over their head, and hide from the world. Living takes effort, and one just can't deal with everything, everyday. After a tiring weekend, and the frustrating coverage of the ACORN news and the 9/12 March on DC, I should have just stayed in bed. But as I was trying to get the courage to climb out from under the covers, I was anxiously waiting for the time I could call Roxi to discover the results of her newest scan on the baby. Our communication lately has been sketchy, since for some unknown reason she can't get my emails anymore. Whenever we try to skype, it doesn't work very well, and we never get to see the videos. Then two of her computers died, so even blogging or facebooking was cut off.
Thus, with great anticipation, I called her. She was tired and sick from the trip to the mainland, but felt that she had received encouraging news that the baby was normal size and healthy. Her placenta doesn't seem to be showing any stress, so our prayers have been answered. Her hopes and plans are to go to Kenya to have the baby, and then to come home next summer for a home stay. She hates winter, and doesn't want to be here then. It would be easier to travel then. We wouldn't have to worry about her getting exposed to the feared H1N1. We would be able to enjoy the lake house, the water, the sun, the girls, etc. I completely understand all her reasoning for her plans, yet, even though I want to be totally supportive, I got selfish instead. Thus the pity party started even though logically, I agreed with her plans for her same reasons.
Not only would I not get to meet my new grandchild till she was 5 or 6 months old, I won't be able to help Roxi take care of either of the girls or her. Thus, I feel superfluous. Grandparenting is something you look forward to your entire life after raising your own children. And I am so into being the best "Bibi" ever, especially since when Roxi was a child, they told us she might not ever be able to have children. But as the situation stands, I can't help feeling that I'm reading from a blog to experience the lives of my daughter and grandchildren. It is just not the same as real hugs and kisses. Now as I previously said, without the computer I could never do this. But today Roxi said that after they come home next summer, they might go back for another year or two......that is when I lost control of all logic and reasoning, and just felt desperation. My greatest apprehension had just been realized. I wanted to give Roxi courage for what she has in store for her in the next few months, but my own selfish feelings just took over. I had to get off the phone before I started bawling. All day the pity party just kept getting worse. It was the kind of day that even crying in a hot tub, didn't help.
Finally, we had to go to a vet dinner about FAT Animals ( why do they think they should feed us and talk about fat at the same time??). Despite the topic, I drowned my sorrow with cheesecake.
With the passage of time, I am trying to remember how lucky I am to have a child who is trying to save the world, not selling drugs. How lucky I am to have two more little girls who will follow in her footsteps of love and sharing to a part of the world that needs their help. What a great role model they will have for a Mother. And I hope they won't judge their Bibi too harshly for her selfish pity party.
We had fortune cookies with dinner last night, and in one, I had no fortune at all...??....then I got one that said something about "your plan will be reached, or something". I just laughed, and said, "what plan?" Tonight I realize that is why I was having a pity party. I have no life plan. I just go from one day to another, trying to dodge what life throws at me. My pleasure comes from celebrating the successes of my children. I have always drawn a blank when people have asked me, "what is your goal, your five year plan?, etc." I always thought I'm too busy with the present to worry about the future. Just live one day at a time, was good enough for me. But then I have always felt like my life has had no purpose.....duh!!!!
So my new idea is to figure out what my plan will be.....and whatever it is, the fortune cookie said I will reach it, so how scary can this planning be???? My first goal will be to lose some of the cheesecake fat from tonight.....
So the pity party is over, and now searching for a plan begins. Do you think 60 is too old to figure out what I want to be when I grow up? I may have to get a new puppy though to hug and kiss until I can get my granchildren back home for good.

Whirling

Too much has happened over the weekend to sort it all out. First, another sad anniversay of 9/11, and all I can say is that I totally agree with Glen Beck. Why haven't those tower been rebuilt yet??? And now it won't even be called the Freedom Tower??? Sadly, America is losing its core by constant attacks of "politically correctness." I watched a wonderful moving show on Fox News about the events as they happened to survivors of that awful day. Obama now wants to turn it into a day of service to the State. What happened that day, was not about service. It was about Islamic terrorists attacking us in our own country, by using our own people in our planes as weapons. But now, we aren't allowed to even call it the War on Terror because we might offend the very people who carried the worst terrorist attack ever.......don't even get me started.......!!!!!
On Saturday, we headed to U of I for our second Illini game, this time agains ISU! Although there is almost nothing as much fun as a BIG TEN college campus on game day, I also wished that I could "twitch" my nose like in "Bewitched", and could have transported myself to the 9/12 Project March on Washington, D.C. Hundreds of thousands of brave, normal citzens protested all over the country about the excessive spending of our tax dollars that our new "hope and change" big government is burdening us with for decades to come. It was one of those days where physically I was helping Steve and John set up the tailgate for AKL, while my heart was with those protestors so many miles away. But once I followed Katy and the band march down Fourth Street into the staduim, my blue and orange blood got my heart back into the Illini game experience. This time the Illini won large, even though Juice, our quarterback got hurt on the first play. They won despite making many silly errors, which does not bode well for what could be a long, bad season. But, for this game, we felt like I'm sure Mizzou felt playing against us last week. This time Katy was exhausted from dancing after all the scoring!
After the game, we tore down the tent at AKL, stopped by with Dip to Katy's party, then closed Murphy's on Green. John, Dan, and Steve drank, while I drove the old AKL brothers home at 2 am. Dan is working vehemently to get our beloved "Chief" back now that we have new trustees. He is working on a scholarship for a real Indian student to portray the Chief. He has letters from all the majors tribal leaders, saying that they have no problem with our Chief. We have our own regalia now too. Since two of the last three Chiefs were AKL's, Dan and John are really trying to get the Chief restated as the symbol of the University. Katy said that she almost started crying doing the 3 in 1 at halftime of the game, because she could hear and see everyone in the stadium clapping and doing the Chief raised arms. She said it is the loudest time during the entire game. I really hope she gets to do it with the "Chief" before she graduates. I know I diress,but it is something politcal correctness took away from us, and it is an Illini thing you might not understand if you are not an Illini.
After crawling out of bed, we picked up Katy, ate, shopped, and started the treck home. We picked up dinner and took it to my folks(Steve's idea :)), so we could watch the first half of the opening game for the Bears! It was a close game, but was lost in the last two minutes on an interception. What a whirling rollercoaster of games and emotions all weekend.
And as I write this, Roxi and Jason and Anni are probably heading off to the mainland for another ultrasound on the new baby. I sure wish that nose thing would work, so I could be there too. The results of this test will help them decide where would be the best place to deliver my new granddaughter. Please pray for them all.
This is just the bare bones of what was whirling through my head this weekend. The ACORN story that broke was also a huge topic of conversation that whirled through different situations. But sometimes, we have to just live, have a drink with old friends, cheer on our team, say our silent prayers, and get some sleep.............

Pink Princess

Check out Roxi's blog on my link to see the darling little pink princess, Annikah! Life is so renewing when we can peak at the world and see it through the eyes of a three year old who feels like a princess on her special day. Oh, if life were so easy. We could just put on our crown and gown and become a Oueen for a Day! (Yes, I'm old enough to remember the old TV show). May every woman remember the days she was a princess, even when life makes her feel like the maid. And the real prince in your fairy tale is the man who can make you feel like his Princess every day! Keep smiling even if your crown is tarnished. :)

Great Expectations

No, I am not going to go Dickens on you, but I wanted to discuss how much time we spend or maybe waste on "great expectations" of upcoming events in our lives, only to be sorely disappointed. And sometimes, when we least expect anything great, we are truly surprised and often blessed beyond what we could even imagine. Some of the events we have had great hope for are proms, dates, weddings, parties, and even sporting events! The latter is what made me question this whole concept. This weekend, we excitedly travelled to St. Louis for the Arch Rivary football game between Illinios and Mizzou. History, should have subdued us, but we, like the sport editors who promised us an Illini victory, went with hopes high that this year was our turn to win!!!
Now I know it was just a football game, but you must understand the preparations that we had untaken before this weekend. On Friday night before the game, the schools have a Battle of the Bands under the arch. The last two years we have not only gone, but have taken Serendipity our GSHP. This year she was decked out in her Illini collar and leash, her jersey, and a tiger chew toy in her mouth! Yes, cameras were flashing as she "killed the tiger" for the masses of fans who also had high hopes after reading the press.
Now to be honest, a good English teacher like myself, should have seen the foreshadowing of gloom when we woke to a pouring rain storm on Saturday, but we still had high hopes, and the rain slowed by the time the tail-gating was supposed to start. Once again Dipity was a hit. She was even asked to go up on the DJ's stage to "kill her Tiger" to the sound of more flashing cameras and yells of glee that we would beat Mizzou! The only problem was that Dip had prepared more for the game than our team!
Now winning would be nice, but I truly go to see Katy dance, only we got into the stadium too late to see the preshow performance! Another expectation crushed. And although our girls looked beautiful in their new uniforms, I felt so sorry for them as the agony of the game seemed to go on forever. Katy later said, that fake smiling for an entire game while the fans looked on in shock, frustration, and finally disgust, was exhausting, and gave her a headache!
No kidding!
I have no idea what went wrong. We were a 6 point favorite. Our team had players who had been together for years, while they had a new quarterback, and had lost many of their All-Americans who had beaten us before. The only difference in this lost, was that we were expected to win. Before, we were the underdogs who almost won, and were within reach the entire game. Now we just blew it. Thus, when your expectations are high and are not met, the fall is worse. The sad thing is that with that lost, so many other people's hopes and dreams were dashed. Now I know it was just a game, but sometimes I think all of life is just a game. One play, or one decision in one's life can change the entire outcome of a game or life can't it?
My entire life I have had more pleasure in the sudden surprises that the game or life has given me, rather than the carefully hoped and planned activities that end up as disappointments. I never liked New Year's Eve, because there is so much pressure on celebrating a night that the entire world is celebrating. How can the expectation ever live up to that? The excitement comes from the interception that prevents the goal. Like training Dip, people plan and dream about proms or weddings only to realize the day is over before they know it. But it is the marriage that takes the work to make love last. It is finding out you are pregnant and 40, that brings the unexpected, unplanned thrill of your life! It is finding out that you are going to be a grandmother at your birthday party, not the party itself that is truly "Great"! Life is full of interceptions. The game is constantly changing. It is how we adapt to the game of life that will determine if we win or lose. We can have great expectations for our lives, but we have to be able to handle those game changing plays and still be able to walk out of life with pride. And an important thing to remember is that life is not a practice, or as we drama teachers use to say," life is not a dress rehearsal." This should not be a problem if God is our coach!

Caught in the Middle

I guess I am a part of that generation that is caught in the middle. I have children and parents that both need my attention. However, when this circumstance sometimes seems overwhelming, I just stop feeling sorry of myself, and thank God that I still have both of my parents, while my husband's parents has passed long ago at much younger ages than my folks are still truckin' at.
And more importantly, all my children are healthy and alive. Two of my neighbors growing up have lost sons. I can't even imagine that kind of sorrow. They also lost their Fathers at a very young age. Their Fathers never really knew their grandchildren, let alone their great-grandchildren. Why does one family have such anguish, and another across the street seem as my Mother always says, "so lucky"? I think we are just blessed, but I don't know why we were allowed to skip the tragedy with which so many families seem to be struck.
Why am I even thinking this today? Well, I took my Father to the hospital today for a stress test on his heart. It seems that when they were monitoring his pacemaker last month, they found that the lower part of his heart is not pumping quite as well as it should. Whenever I take my Dad to some appointment, I am always amused and proud of his wonderful sense of humor. He travelled eight states when I was growing up, and was always alone on the road, so he developed
a knack for conversation with every stranger he met. At 87, he still flirts with every nurse, or jokes with anyone who will sit still long enough for him to start a conversation. Today an attractive young nurse came to call his name in the waiting room, and he came back with, "She is stressing my heart already!" Later, two others came out laughing at his jokes about wanting his Manhatthan. They couldn't believe he was 87 and in such a good humor after having his back screwed together two years ago.
Although it has been very stressful having to go through all the change in the last two years of moving them up here, and going through many surgeries, I have bonded with my parents in a way I never imagined. I was always their "little girl", and this whole experience has often reversed our roles, however, they both amaze me with their inner strength and dignity, and will to live life to the fullest they can by their own terms.
Many times I think our generation feel like taffy being pulled by our parent's and our children's needs. But this makes us stretch and more pliable for what our future may hold for us.
Although I sometimes feel my life is not my own, and I don't know where my youth went, I, like my Mother, feel lucky to have survived it inspite of the whirl. I truly pray I can age as gracefully as my parents have. And I am grateful that they are now once again a part of my life that for years was so distant in miles, if not in heart.
So even though "Apollo 13" is one of my favorite movies because of the fortitude of the American spirit, I was so busy with my whirling life that I don't remember living through the actual event! How sad is it that a movie has to teach you what you missed in real life? Now I hope to learn from my parents what I missed from being their daughter five hours away. And at the same time I am constantly learning more about my children who are living their own exciting and challenging lives. My goal in writing this blog is to help me gather my thoughts and make some sense of it all as I enjoy being caught in the middle.....