Caught in the Middle

I guess I am a part of that generation that is caught in the middle. I have children and parents that both need my attention. However, when this circumstance sometimes seems overwhelming, I just stop feeling sorry of myself, and thank God that I still have both of my parents, while my husband's parents has passed long ago at much younger ages than my folks are still truckin' at.
And more importantly, all my children are healthy and alive. Two of my neighbors growing up have lost sons. I can't even imagine that kind of sorrow. They also lost their Fathers at a very young age. Their Fathers never really knew their grandchildren, let alone their great-grandchildren. Why does one family have such anguish, and another across the street seem as my Mother always says, "so lucky"? I think we are just blessed, but I don't know why we were allowed to skip the tragedy with which so many families seem to be struck.
Why am I even thinking this today? Well, I took my Father to the hospital today for a stress test on his heart. It seems that when they were monitoring his pacemaker last month, they found that the lower part of his heart is not pumping quite as well as it should. Whenever I take my Dad to some appointment, I am always amused and proud of his wonderful sense of humor. He travelled eight states when I was growing up, and was always alone on the road, so he developed
a knack for conversation with every stranger he met. At 87, he still flirts with every nurse, or jokes with anyone who will sit still long enough for him to start a conversation. Today an attractive young nurse came to call his name in the waiting room, and he came back with, "She is stressing my heart already!" Later, two others came out laughing at his jokes about wanting his Manhatthan. They couldn't believe he was 87 and in such a good humor after having his back screwed together two years ago.
Although it has been very stressful having to go through all the change in the last two years of moving them up here, and going through many surgeries, I have bonded with my parents in a way I never imagined. I was always their "little girl", and this whole experience has often reversed our roles, however, they both amaze me with their inner strength and dignity, and will to live life to the fullest they can by their own terms.
Many times I think our generation feel like taffy being pulled by our parent's and our children's needs. But this makes us stretch and more pliable for what our future may hold for us.
Although I sometimes feel my life is not my own, and I don't know where my youth went, I, like my Mother, feel lucky to have survived it inspite of the whirl. I truly pray I can age as gracefully as my parents have. And I am grateful that they are now once again a part of my life that for years was so distant in miles, if not in heart.
So even though "Apollo 13" is one of my favorite movies because of the fortitude of the American spirit, I was so busy with my whirling life that I don't remember living through the actual event! How sad is it that a movie has to teach you what you missed in real life? Now I hope to learn from my parents what I missed from being their daughter five hours away. And at the same time I am constantly learning more about my children who are living their own exciting and challenging lives. My goal in writing this blog is to help me gather my thoughts and make some sense of it all as I enjoy being caught in the middle.....